Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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