Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
