its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
