I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize