I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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