Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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