just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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