Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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