i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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