I'm lost and stupid without you.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
