Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
