let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
