Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
is that a dick in a sweater?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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