If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize