Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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