I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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