hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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