Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
