Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
