is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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