And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
