I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
did i just pee glitter
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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