New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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