dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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