I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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