guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
