I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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