Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
