definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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