Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
