Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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