and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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