you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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