I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
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Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
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Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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