I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
it hurts more in the daytime
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
