White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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