My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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