I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
