shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
