Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
