all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
