Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
