OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
