I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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