Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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