I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
