STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
