I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So gin and wine won't be happening again
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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