So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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