At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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