fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
