just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
ok first of all what the fuck
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
