Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize