even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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