This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
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We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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