it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
