We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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