i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
