Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
