writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
