Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
