No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize