Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I have post one night stand depression
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