i permit you to call me
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
