Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Already got asked if we're dating
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
