I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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