i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Randomize
