I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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