Swine flu. Run for my life!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
