Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
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He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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