So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
